Thursday, March 27, 2014

Batha ? No.

I still remember the first day I started working. I entered the company building and was told to take a seat in the reception area. I saw that there were 3 people already sitting in there. I saw this fair and tall guy and he smiled at me and I returned it back. Just like any silly girl I made up stories in my head about us being friends when suddenly I smelt something horrible, something disgusting. It grew stronger the nearer I went to the fair and tall guy. I pretended that I got a call and went and sat somewhere a little further. I kept thinking someone had spilt something on the cushions where the guy sat and that was creating this awful smell. 
The next whole 2 weeks went away in a haze and there was not much interaction with any of my other batch mates. As I usually keep to myself till I get used to the people around me, I made little effort to talk to anyone in my batch. The fair and tall guy had made friends and lost a few in the short duration and I kept wondering what was the reason not to have this guy around. He was definitely pleasing to the eye. I was loving being independent and all that I rarely gave notice to this guy. He used to say a "hi" everyday in the morning and I used to return it. 
After two weeks in the company I had made 2 friends. I had still not spoken to the tall and fair guy. When I could not solve the matter at hand I thought it would be a nice way to add another person to my growing friends' list and spoke to the fair and tall guy. He came over to my cubicle and gave suggestions. The next day he came over again and his shirt was stained and his breath smelled. I spoke to him a little keeping a good distance from him. After this he came to my cubicle every morning and I dreaded these encounters. I had a box of tic-tacs and orbit which I offered to him daily. This was the assertive way to handle a smelly breath but I never knew how I was supposed to tell someone that they smell bad. In our painful (at least on my side) conversations the biggest mistake I did was to tell him that I like Harry Potter. After office hours he would stealthily come up behind me and whisper (with his mouth open) Harry Potter just like Voldemort does in the movie. In such encounters I used to be startled and would turn and be blasted with a breath of smelly hot breath. Imagine keeping a straight face through that (I am waiting for my noble peace price). He was not smelly on only one day a week. I assumed that was the only one day he took bath. To add to all this the summer came. He was soon included in my prayers each day. I used to ask God to please give him the sense to take a nice hot bath because long hot baths, according to me, solved everything. Be it a stressed day, a troubled mind, a fitful sleep or a smelly big guy. When I realized that even the sweltering hot summers would not make the guy take a bath everyday, I took matters in to my own hands. Whenever he came over to say hi, our conversations went like this.

He : Hi
Me : Hi, do you smell something bad ?
He : No.
Me : Well, It seems like somebody needs a bath, huh ?? 

He : *laughs and changes the topic*

He : Hi
Me : Hi. There is that smell again. Don't you smell it ?
He : No.
Me : Well, looks like someone in our batch is skipping taking a bath huh ?? *smiling and nodding head*
He : maybe. *changes the topic*

After a week or 2 of this I got a better idea.

He : Hi.
Me : Hi. 
< after 5 mins >
Me : Do you smell that ? What do you think it is ? Do you think it is me ? I have bath everyday. The geaser kept breaking down so our PG owner has installed this new Racold instant water heaters. You know that you will sweat less if you have a nice hot bath in the morning. Yes. I know this by experience. You should try it. See, you are sweating right now and look at me, not even a drop of sweat. Just try this for a day or two.
He : What ? Have bath everyday ? I have bath only two times a week. Hence save water and a lot of time.
Me : How long do you take bath on these 2 days ?
He : For at least 40 mins.
Me : How about this ? You have bath for exactly 80 mins per week ? So, if you have a bath for 11 mins everyday, you will be using the same amount of water and spending the same amount of time for the bath. And on top of that, you will have 3 minutes spare time. *smiles and nods*
He : Maybe I will try.

I went home that day feeling victorious. The next day I found him not smelly at all. The day after that too. I asked him one day if he was sweating less after everyday bath and he said yes. The whole of summer went away and except his mouth nothing smelled. I had my tic-tacs for that. After some 4 months, everyone in my batch were my very good friends.
The rainy season had started and when I was on my way to the office it was drizzling. I entered and there was that smell again. I went to my cubicle. The fair guy came to say "hi".

He : Hi.
Me : What is the smell, boss ?
He : I don't smell anything.
Me : Have you bathed today *smiles and nods*
He : No. It is rainy season. I feel odd taking bath everyday because it is so cold.

Me : You stink. Take a bath tomorrow.
He :  I will try.

After 4 months, we were good friends. There was no need to beat around the bush. As the saying goes. 
"Old habits, die hard".

This post is written for Racold What's that smell contest in association with Indiblogger.

Check out Racold's facebook page: 
Here is a fun video  What's that smell, Boss?

Saturday, March 22, 2014

#FP madness on twitter.

I usually fall asleep at 11. But yesterday night I saw Shreesha's tweets with the #FP tag and wanted to try my hand at it. In case you missed it, here it is.

It is done on fridays. You should join in next time. Here are a few of the other tweets I liked.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Awkward Conversations.

I am someone who is slow to open up to people. I speak with my colleagues only if need arises and a little during lunch. If you expect me to rant on, you will have to be my friend for at least 1-2 months. (Yes, tested ;)). I think that is why I find people who speak a lot very irritating.

- I once met a guy in bus. He used to give me life lessons. Told me that I was not enjoying my life because I left office at 6'o clock while he left office at 5'o clock. He then gave explanations of how he enjoys his life by leaving office one hour earlier than me.

- I meet a girl in bus stop every morning. We get at most 5-7 minutes to speak. Last Friday I asked her what she was doing over the weekend. She lodged into a 4 minute (yes, I timed it) explanation of how she goes to movies or stays at home and explained in detail what exactly she does at home. She was not yet finished and our bus arrived. (Thank Jejus)

- I once met a guy who told me the entire story of Dhoom 3. (If you think the movie is boring why do you think it would make an interesting story during a conversation ?)

- I still meet this guy on bus. He told me what all he bought for his brother who was going to USA for higher studies. He could have just told "clothes" but noo. He gave me a detailed description of each formal shirt, t-shirt, collared t-shirt, jeans, formal pants, nightwear, sweaters, thermal underwear (I am not making this up) and also where exactly he bought it from and why exactly he bought those. He has a loud voice.

What was I doing ? To put it in short, this was my thought process
"Ok....Okay and nod.....Okay, I get it............I get it..........I GET IT...............Stop.........oh please stop.......don't make me hurt you.........if I interrupt you now and tell you I am not interested to know then both of us will be feeling awkward and I don't like it so please stop...... .STOP.....PLEASE STAAAAPPPHHH...I think I will have an ice cream today...wonder what is going to happen in the next episode of tumhari paakhi.......have to buy a new pair of forgot to call the tailor again god you are so forgetful these days......maybe a butterscotch cake from sweet chariot will jog that memory right up!! and nod.....okay"

People who speak a lot are sometimes irritating, yes, but conversations with people who speak less are sometimes boring.

- My colleague has a 3 month old baby. Today's lunch conversation went like this
Colleague - *something* had *something something* loose motion in the morning.
Me - Is it because of something you ate ? Is that why you din't come to office yesterday ?
Colleague - My son had.
Me - Oh
*awkward silence till we finished our lunch*

- Me - Hi
Colleague 1 - Hi
Me - Reading any novels lately ?
Colleague 1 - Yes. *Tells some malayalam  novel name.*
Me - Ok.
He does not ask me the same question and thus the conversation ends.

This happens mostly with my colleagues because I just try to do small talk.Writing about these conversations would be boring.

I don't know. I seem to have a problem with both kinds of people. But, that said, I would select being bored to being irritated any time of the day. At least I would be allowed to speak a little. I am sure that I can find something mutually interesting to speak because, well, I am awesome like that. :)

So what kind of person are you and what kind of a person would you choose ? :)