Love

"Love was the rain, drenching you in happiness. It was the sun shining in on your darkness. Love was the wind, blowing away your worries. It was the earth below you, supporting you always. Love was the sky, always there to look up to. It was the clouds, drifting around making you smile. Love was the laughter in your heart. It was a glow oozing out of you. Love was meant to heal. It was supposed to be surreal and it was.
Love changed.
Love felt like the storm, running you down. Love became the scorching sun you wanted to run away from. Love became a tornado, spinning you in circles, stopping you from moving forward on your own. Love was the bump in the road which kept making you trip. Love became the dark sky, not even a single star shining, and looking at it it makes you want to cry. Love became a hole in your heart and it let out all the laughter. It broke you and the pain was all too real."

Inspired from this quote by Neil Gaiman & this video bought to my notice by a cutie called PeeVee here.

Why I cant make good first impressions.

1) I don't know how to respond to ":)" sent by a stranger(a colleague) at the end of a chat. I end up over thinking about it and wonder if they think I am rude and just end up doing this.
Colleague: :) (sent 4.00PM)
*After a lot of thinking and nail-biting*
Me: :) (sent 5:30PM)
and I over think about how creepy it all seems with the time gap.

2) I am used to telling "its okay/fine" when someone tells "Thank you" and most conversations in office end up like this
Colleague: Thank you. (sent 3.15PM)
Me: Its fine (sent 3.16PM)
mention not (sent 3.16PM)
you are welcome (sent 3.16PM)

3) I am used to laughing with my mouth wide open. (No, not when I eat)

4) I say things like "I can be a professional pedicure giver" not a beautician or a pedicurist but a "PEDICURE GIVER"

5) I sit on my hands when the AC makes me feel very cold. It does not exactly matter where I am.

6) When I finish something successfully in office I really feel like throwing my hands up in the air and say "yes", but I realize midway that I am in office and just do this weird punching my cheeks kind of thing because my hands are already mid air.

7) When I am really nervous I say things like "tadatadatadada" or "dudun dudun dudun" under my breath repeatedly until someone starts staring at me.

8) I think that I make wonderful music by tapping my fingers on the laptop or the table. Yes, even in office.

Awkward Conversations.

I am someone who is slow to open up to people. I speak with my colleagues only if need arises and a little during lunch. If you expect me to rant on, you will have to be my friend for at least 1-2 months. (Yes, tested ;)). I think that is why I find people who speak a lot very irritating.

- I once met a guy in bus. He used to give me life lessons. Told me that I was not enjoying my life because I left office at 6'o clock while he left office at 5'o clock. He then gave explanations of how he enjoys his life by leaving office one hour earlier than me.

- I meet a girl in bus stop every morning. We get at most 5-7 minutes to speak. Last Friday I asked her what she was doing over the weekend. She lodged into a 4 minute (yes, I timed it) explanation of how she goes to movies or stays at home and explained in detail what exactly she does at home. She was not yet finished and our bus arrived. (Thank Jejus)

- I once met a guy who told me the entire story of Dhoom 3. (If you think the movie is boring why do you think it would make an interesting story during a conversation ?)

- I still meet this guy on bus. He told me what all he bought for his brother who was going to USA for higher studies. He could have just told "clothes" but noo. He gave me a detailed description of each formal shirt, t-shirt, collared t-shirt, jeans, formal pants, nightwear, sweaters, thermal underwear (I am not making this up) and also where exactly he bought it from and why exactly he bought those. He has a loud voice.

What was I doing ? To put it in short, this was my thought process
"Ok....Okay dude.....smile and nod.....Okay, I get it............I get it..........I GET IT...............Stop.........oh please stop.......don't make me hurt you.........if I interrupt you now and tell you I am not interested to know then both of us will be feeling awkward and I don't like it so please stop...... .STOP.....PLEASE STAAAAPPPHHH...I think I will have an ice cream today...wonder what is going to happen in the next episode of tumhari paakhi.......have to buy a new pair of earrings.....you forgot to call the tailor again god you are so forgetful these days......maybe a butterscotch cake from sweet chariot will jog that memory right up!! hahaha.....smile and nod.....okay"

People who speak a lot are sometimes irritating, yes, but conversations with people who speak less are sometimes boring.

- My colleague has a 3 month old baby. Today's lunch conversation went like this
Colleague - *something* had *something something* loose motion in the morning.
Me - Is it because of something you ate ? Is that why you din't come to office yesterday ?
Colleague - My son had.
Me - Oh
*awkward silence till we finished our lunch*

- Me - Hi
Colleague 1 - Hi
Me - Reading any novels lately ?
Colleague 1 - Yes. *Tells some malayalam  novel name.*
Me - Ok.
He does not ask me the same question and thus the conversation ends.

This happens mostly with my colleagues because I just try to do small talk.Writing about these conversations would be boring.

I don't know. I seem to have a problem with both kinds of people. But, that said, I would select being bored to being irritated any time of the day. At least I would be allowed to speak a little. I am sure that I can find something mutually interesting to speak because, well, I am awesome like that. :)

So what kind of person are you and what kind of a person would you choose ? :)